Disappointments.

A month into my last year in the academe pressures have been high and tension is piling up. We are all feeling the added burden on our shoulders that we often resort to flight, giving up, biting our fingernails and pulling our hairs up to the roots. Okay, maybe I was exaggerating with the last two but who knows someone might just crack up and storm out of the classroom swearing at the top of their lungs.

Academics had taken its toll on me and I'm truly lagging behind. While I am enjoying a nice Facebook/ YM chat with some friends my other classmates are busying themselves with their Financial Accounting books. Some are already chapters ahead from our current discussion taking advantage of every free time they have while others barely maintain a one-chapter-per-study-time policy but can still catch up with the lesson. Whereas I don't study ahead and don't try to keep up. One proof is my B5 quiz in Managerial Accounting. Getting a B5 on your paper means your score is one of the five lowest in class. That's a disappointment.

Extra-curricular activities too are exerting their fare share of problems. Delays make me agitated and effin' reasons make me mad! A few days ago I managed to destroy my swivel chair, smashed a remote control and almost broke my flat-screen TV in less than 10 minutes because I got angry. I did get scolded afterwards mind you but there are times when my emotions get uncontrollable subsequent events start going awry. So when things don't go as planned... that's another disappointment.

I'm not a people pleaser but I try not to be the cause of other people's disappointment because it bugs my conscience. Apologizing isn't always the best solution (besides, I'm not really good at apologizing) but there are times when I see the need to. An early cure is better than someone harboring a life-long grudge. Yawn! This is supposed to be longer but I'm too tired to continue. Yet another disappointment!

Breaking The Habit

Sitting inside my room with lights turned off randomly browsing internet sites while listening to the low hum of the television waiting for the sun rays to stream through my window blinds.

This unsightly scene has slowly become a habit to me. Whether it's due to too much coffee or some seasonal malady, I don't know. It started a week before classes started when I tried maximizing internet usage and taking advantage of an undivided bandwidth during the wee hours. I surfed excessively at dawn and slept leaving the laptop still turned on during the day. I initially planned revert back to the usual once classes start but it adjusting back became a problem. No matter how tired I am during the day once the computer is in front of me there's no stopping until the sun comes out.

Actually, two problems arise with this habit. First, I don't get enough sleep and second, I end up eating a lot and I fear the second problem worsening more that the first. Blowing my weight out of proportion is not an option! My weight already doubled over the past two years and adding more to it is out of the question!

So, any problem solvers out there willing to help me? I'm desperate. Literally.